What Happens When You Stop Chasing the Algorithm

I quit shape-shifting. Here's what happened.

There’s a “f*ck it” energy that I’ve arrived at, and it just kind of hit me.

And I don’t mean f*ck it like, forget about everything, I don’t care about anything anyway, I’m going to burn everything to the ground like the dragons in Game of Thrones. It’s not that sort of energy. It’s more this energy of: this is who I am, I know my worth, and as I continue to be myself, I will connect with other people who are looking for something similar or, from a professional sense, looking for something that I have to offer.

I’ve long admired people who were in that f*ck it energy, although I couldn’t quite put my finger on its essence for me, personally.

And then a few days ago, I finally felt it. It was this combination of writing on Substack recently and admitting to myself how good it felt to be writing into the void of it, because I’m so new on here. There was something so freeing about really stripping down; not coming at Substack from a strategy lens, and not coming at it from how do I grow my followers. For me, Substack has become this portal of all these layers of me that are often hidden on other platforms, like Instagram especially, and LinkedIn.

And I recognize that there are aspects of me that have been more hidden, or where I’ve held back from showing fully. Some of that is because business is built from there, referrals come from there. And at the same time, this moment cracked something open: how much more could there be? How many more people who are really aligned with who I most want to help, and who most need my help, would I reach if I were fully shining all the light and not holding back?

Here’s the thing though… I’d been posting for the algorithm for probably the past year or so, as a means to more business. But I’d also notice that when I was in self-expression around things I really love, like selfcare, beautiful pieces, travel and wellness, those posts always did better. Maybe because they were more me, and less of a lesson in strategy.

In recent months I just kept noticing less and less reach, and that made me want to grab at the algorithm even harder. It’s that scarcity mindset that the less you get of something, the more you try to get it and want it. So there came a moment, where I was on Instagram posting something from the heart, and the reach just didn’t get sent anywhere. And I just hit this certainty: I don’t want any of it anymore.

I realized even playing the game wasn’t working anymore and what I shared from the heart wasn’t “working” either, by the algorithm’s measure. So I started thinking about what “working” even means. And I recognized that when I was posting from the heart, that was working — for ME. Maybe not for the algorithm, but for ME. And there’s a deep certainty underneath that, that it will also work for the people on the other side of the void who I’m looking to connect with, and who are looking to connect with me.

I recognized in that moment how much power I’d been giving to the algorithm, and how much of an ego death I’ve had (and needed) in recent months.

These past few weeks of committing to not hold back, to truly be myself, have come with a very deep moment of clarity: I’m going to be myself no matter what. Because even when I play the game, play by the rules I think I’m supposed to play, that’s still not working out anymore. I refuse to bang my head against the wall anymore. So the only thing I can do for myself is be all of myself.

It’s come at the best time, and I think it took Substack to unlock that in me, because from the start on this platform, everything for me has been about just sharing me — my thoughts through notes, through voice in my Founder, Unfiltered podcast, through articles and imagery. There’s just been this beautiful intersection.

I’ve arrived at this f*ck it state, and wasn’t even looking for it. I didn’t know what it felt like until the other day, when I had this breakup from the algorithm.

It’s amazing how much of my self-worth was tied up in the validation of the algorithm and the people engaging on my account. But if I’m holding back and not being all of myself, then what does any of that matter anyway?

I’m looking forward to how business evolves and grows now that I’m purely in this state of: this is who I am, this is what I have to offer. In large part, it’s just my brainpower. I’m offering the way I look at things, the way I break things down, the way I take a new brand’s idea and help them sculpt it into a new business. And I cannot hold back on it anymore, or shrink it, or shape-shift it into a box for an algorithm. It has to be as it is, so that the people who are most meant to find it in this void will find it.

So it’s a really great place to be in. And I’ll say this: when you know, you know. You will your own moment of “I’m better than this” and be done chasing “it”. And then you cannot unknow it. It’s the death of shape-shifting and code-switching and molding. It’s the moment of: I can no longer bang my head against this wall, because it’s not productive to anyone, and it’s really keeping me from myself. It’s keeping me from taking action. It’s keeping me from trusting that what I have is enough, and that I am enough.